see url This is Finley – just short of 4 weeks old – taken by the fabulous photography by Sinem.
I hadn’t planned on writing a post about this at all – I mean, thousands of parents take their new baby to have special photos taken. It’s nothing unusual and certainly nothing new – I took my daughter when she was little and lots of my friends have done the same.
This photo shoot however, modafinil get you high was different. I was really fortunate to be able to take Finn for a newborn photo shoot with an independent photographer based near us (Birmingham) and the whole experience was quite frankly a little slice of heaven.
This was one of our first trips out after Finley’s arrival. I have to be honest and say that I very nearly rang to cancel that morning because I was tired, Finn was needing a sleep but (as always) fighting it and I felt totally stressed about how awful it was going to be. I’m so glad I didn’t.
On arrival, Sinem (the photographer) gave me a huge smile and took Finn in his car seat through to the room where we would be. It was warm, relaxing and inviting. Five minutes later I was sat with a cup of tea, some biscuits and empty arms! Finn was being soothed and snuggled by Sinem who, with the patience of a saint, proceeded to carefully and gently sort Finn into the outfits and positions she wanted for the pictures.
For over 3 hours I sat back and relaxed – really relaxed. This was not just about the photos but about the whole experience and the calm I felt for the first time since Finn was born. The fantastic pictures produced were the icing on the cake! Of course the other aspect was the fact that I watched a total stranger soothe and comfort my little boy with amazing expertise and most crucially relaxed patience. I truly believe the latter are the two key words and remembering this in some of the tough moments since has really helped.
So when I look at these beautiful pictures of Finley I not only think about how gorgeous my little boy is (yes I’m biased!) but I also remember how wonderful those 3 hours were.
To my darling Finley. At 3 and a half weeks old I couldn’t love you more and we are doing pretty well. I had totally forgotten what having a newborn was like so it has been a new world for both of us! For the record it’s a mix of tears, smiles, poo and short bursts of sleep. 🙂
Our cuddles together are moments I will cherish forever and I am still amazed every time I look at you that you really grew in my tummy and that you’re finally here. It’s something I know doesn’t change because I still often look in wonder at your big sis and she’s almost 8!
Of course being your mum is inevitably challenging at times – I mean you can’t tell me what you need so we play our little guessing game quite regularly. I even guess right occasionally. You also really don’t get it when you need to rest – I think your a bit too nosy so that often spells disaster aka overtired crying (mostly you and occasionally me).
And of course as ever I wish I was better at some stuff and more confident in my own instincts. I wish for example that I could stop my brain over analysing everything and in particular worrying about the problems I’m creating for the future or whether what I’m doing is right (right by whom I Wonder?!) I am a nutter for having these thoughts and I know this, but my brain doesn’t seem to register it.
I also wish I could stop googling all the time as if there is AN answer to everything, but its an instinct I apparently can’t override. I’m actually secretly googling stuff now so no one knows I’ve looked – I think it’s an official type of addiction but sadly i can’t find that when I google it.
Ah well – perfect parenting truly doesn’t exist and this I know, but one thing I can promise you is that I will always do my best for you and strive to do even better. I am so excited to watch you grow up and so proud to be your mum.
Welcome to the world and welcome to our family.