To my darling Finley. At 3 and a half weeks old I couldn’t love you more and we are doing pretty well. I had totally forgotten what having a newborn was like so it has been a new world for both of us! For the record it’s a mix of tears, smiles, poo and short bursts of sleep. 🙂
Our cuddles together are moments I will cherish forever and I am still amazed every time I look at you that you really grew in my tummy and that you’re finally here. It’s something I know doesn’t change because I still often look in wonder at your big sis and she’s almost 8!
Of course being your mum is inevitably challenging at times – I mean you can’t tell me what you need so we play our little guessing game quite regularly. I even guess right occasionally. You also really don’t get it when you need to rest – I think your a bit too nosy so that often spells disaster aka overtired crying (mostly you and occasionally me).
And of course as ever I wish I was better at some stuff and more confident in my own instincts. I wish for example that I could stop my brain over analysing everything and in particular worrying about the problems I’m creating for the future or whether what I’m doing is right (right by whom I Wonder?!) I am a nutter for having these thoughts and I know this, but my brain doesn’t seem to register it.
I also wish I could stop googling all the time as if there is AN answer to everything, but its an instinct I apparently can’t override. I’m actually secretly googling stuff now so no one knows I’ve looked – I think it’s an official type of addiction but sadly i can’t find that when I google it.
Ah well – perfect parenting truly doesn’t exist and this I know, but one thing I can promise you is that I will always do my best for you and strive to do even better. I am so excited to watch you grow up and so proud to be your mum.
Welcome to the world and welcome to our family.