Category Archives: Being a mum

#RandomThoughts 8 January 2017

1. Once again it seems to have been ages since I’ve blogged – but this time I’m resisting the guilt I usually feel (I’m not doing that in 2017!) and I’m not going to apologise. Life is busy and I’m pretty sure that most people will understand. #ThatIsLife

2. The bugs have been mental this winter – I literally know one person whose home hasn’t been affected in some way with some cold, cough or tummy bug. Roll on spring.

3. Normally I think the school holidays have gone too quickly but oddly enough Christmas didn’t fly too quickly and when it came time for back to school I and the children seemed ready.

4. I’m ready for spring now. That is all.

5. This week Ellie told me that I was being grumpy all the time. How rude! I mean I’m not grumpy ALL of the time and when I am it’s mostly justified.

6. and finally….predictably despite all the amazing toys that Finn got for Christmas the thing that currently keeps him entertained for longest – tupperware

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I don’t want to! A Mummy tantrum

This folks is a metaphorical tantrum because I’m not allowed to have an actual tantrum. It’s a mummy tantrum and I’m going to feel so much better when I get it out of my system….so here goes…

I don’t want to be patient at 7.30 at night. I want Ellie to go to bed without any delaying.

I don’t want Finn to eat every speck of dirt and dust of the floor so that I feel like I need to vacuum every 10 seconds.

I don’t want the kids to leave their dirty clothes on the floor. I want them to put them in the blinking washing basket – I have, after all, reminded them that is what it’s for millions of times. Yes millions.

I don’t want to hear any comments on the dinner I’ve cooked – bad or good. I just want everyone to EAT IT!

And finally, I don’t want to sew this many brownie badges on and I don’t care that it’s my fault I left them until there was a pile. I HATE SEWING.

badges

Oooo that does feel better. So anyone else feel like sharing a bit of a tantrum?! Do leave a comment.

PoCoLo

Farewell to October

It’s fair to say that October has been a mixed bag of a month with the overriding story for our family summed up nicely in this picture of our bathroom window sill…

ill

Literally every member of the house has had a cough, cold or something and in particular Ellie has really struggled for over 4 weeks culminating in a chest and throat infection. Listening to my little girl coughing and straining while trying to get to sleep night after night has quite frankly been distressing and exhausting. Thankfully we do seem to be through it now and despite it all, the month has definitely not been all doom and gloom.

I’ve had time to notice and actually get the children to notice the beautiful autumn colours…

leaves

Finn continues to make us all constantly giggle and smile…

finn-in-bath

We’ve enjoyed some great family time include a trip to National Trust Croome which was a super day out…

nt

So on reflection It hasn’t been the best October we’ve ever had but it has had some highlights. Here’s hoping that the winter bugs are done with and we can now enjoy the run up to, and excitement of, Christmas. Yes I said the C word and I don’t care! 🙂

PoCoLo

On the move

Finn is now truly on the move!! He finally progressed from commando crawling which he seemed to be doing forever, to proper crawling and then to race crawling in just a few days. Inevitably, he mostly demonstrates his new skill at speed when heading towards anything he isn’t allowed. So far his favourite places are…

1. The top of the stairs – which currently have no stair gate as it seems impossible to find one that works for our weird layout. (We’re working on it!)
2. The oven – although only when it’s actually on
3. The pushchair wheels – so that he can bite them
4. The fireplace in the backroom – although it isn’t used, the coal apparently tastes great
5. Anywhere on the carpet where there is a speck of dirt – he is literally like a human hoover (so much so that Richard has taken to calling him Roomba)
6. The bottom of the toilet – yes it’s gross, I mean it doesn’t matter how much you clean a toilet, it’s still a toilet isn’t it!

The cheeky little boy has also immediately decided that he’d like to try standing up and cruising – I personally think he should have given us a little more time before trying such things but he is of course proud as punch.

up-on-his-feet

This new found skill has inevitably created chaos in a house which wasn’t ready for it as we strive to make sure that Finn can’t get hold of things he shouldn’t have. My desk now looks like this for example…

messy-desk

I realise I haven’t really posted on the blog about specific milestones with Finn so far but I couldn’t resist this one because not only he is clearly loving his new found freedom, but it also seems a like a huge milestone in him changing from a baby towards a toddler. It’s incredibly exciting to watch and a reminder that this first year or so is full of change on a dramatic scale. I can’t wait to see what he does next!

The thoughts in my head

It’s a busy place inside my head. I mean, some days the thoughts in my head are pretty quiet – mostly when I’m distracted by all the stuff I have to do. To be fair, there is an awful lot of stuff to think about …..sleep, milk, food, nappies, sleep, dinners, food shopping, school events, sleep, how everyone in the family is, sleep (sorry did I mention that one before).

Sometimes though the thoughts in my head are very loud, brimming with positivity and excitement – delight when Finn is doing something new, or when he’s laughing, or when he pulls a face at some new food he’s trying! Moments like this…

sutton-park

Sometimes though my thoughts are not nearly so good and they seem to be screaming all sorts of things I really don’t want to think. Managing these thoughts is particularly challenging for me after I’ve had a baby – maybe it’s the hormones? or maybe it’s the fact it’s exhausting? Rather annoyingly though, despite it being almost 8 months since Finn arrived I’m still having to manage my thinking carefully and reign myself in every so often. Embarrasingly sometimes I even end up saying what I’m thinking out loud!

Most recently these have included me saying ‘I don’t really like babies’! I’m not saying it isn’t true, I absolutely love my children but the baby stage is, for me, the hardest by a country mile. I don’t think I’m supposed to say it out loud though! Then just yesterday I found myself telling Finn that I wasn’t changing his nappy just now because ‘you’re going to fight with me about it and anyway I need the toilet and strictly speaking, well, you’ve already been.’ Another thing you probably shouldn’t say out loud.

On a really bad day the thoughts in my head are all about how having a baby was a silly idea and why did I ever thing I should do it again. The fact that I’m not strong enough to handle it when everyone needs a bit of me and that I’m a horrible person for enjoying the fact that the first 8 months have (in hindsight) gone quickly. Of course most of the time – when I’m having fun with friends or family who have always been there for me, when a day goes perfectly to plan, when I’m having a lay in at the weekend while Daddy takes over, or when I’m laughing with Ellie – I can mostly shrug it all off and push those thoughts away. It’s those tougher days that don’t quite go to plan that can be hard and on those days it can be really hard not to listen just a little too much.

Anyway that’s quite enough for one post, but I hope that by sharing my thoughts anyone else out there with their own challenging thoughts in their head won’t feel quite so alone.

Until next time…..

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