Category Archives: Pregnancy

All ready for baby – but am I?

At 36 weeks pregnant everything is just about as set as it can be for our baby boy and my previously shared checklist is pretty much done – the room is ready, we’ve stocked up on the nappies etc, Christmas presents are wrapped, Christmas cards are written, birth plan done and hospital bag packed. I’m feeling quite organised, which as anyone who’s read much of blog will know, is how I like to feel.

So when a close friend gave birth to her gorgeous baby Son last weekend and I found myself looking at this tiny baby in my arms I was a little taken aback when I realised that there’s one thing I’m not sure is ready….me!

resized in pp

As I held him my brain went into overdrive and followed a pattern of thought something like this;

Oh my gosh – I’m having a baby
I wasn’t great with the baby bit last time
Eeek – I’m having a baby
I can’t remember anything about the baby bit – it was almost 8 years ago
Shit I’m having a baby!!!!!!

Now I can obviously tell myself all the usual things – I have done it before, Ellie survived and flourished with me as her Mum so I did something right and I’m definitely a more relaxed and happy version of myself than I was before. All these things are true but of course when it comes to my brain, logic isn’t necessarily the thing that leads.

So the other night when I was awake (again) at 3am my brain did was it so often does and started producing it’s own little checklist for me – things I want and don’t want to do this time around. Here are some of the key ones….

I will not worry in the early days about cuddling my baby too much – I won’t be storing up problems for sleeping in the future – he won’t remember but I will and I want to remember cuddles!

This time around I will accept help from others (in fact I already have accepted help this time from friends who have done the school run for me to given me a chance to rest, helped me clean some of the baby stuff ready and so on.)

I won’t expect myself to simply know what’s wrong when he cries – I will just work my way through the standard list of possibilities and know that at some point he’ll stop.

I won’t worry about how I look for the first few weeks – I will just be pleased pleased we got there on time to start with.

I won’t give myself a hard time about feeding my baby – I will do what works and what feels right…whatever that is.

So now I’ve written it down I guess I’ll have to see whether I manage all, some, or any of these once our Son arrives (of course I’ll let you know!) but if nothing else just by putting my thoughts out there hopefully my brain will switch off a bit now.

I wonder how many of these things other parents have thought when they’ve had subsequent children? So come on – what things did you want to do differently second time around? Please comment and share.

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I wish I had more…

In the last couple of weeks I’ve had more than a few moments where I have heard myself say (either in my head or periodically to anyone who is listening) ‘I wish I had more….’. I almost think it’s becoming my catch phrase. Here’s four of my most frequently used ones. I warn you now this does not reflect particularly well on my parenting skills but if nothing else at least I recognise it and that’s surely the first step?!

I wish I had more patience – most notably when Ellie is refusing to take any advice from me because what could I possibly know! I usually of course shout before having this thought.

I wish I had more energy – springs to mind as I sneak upstairs and have a nap while Richard sorts the children out ….. again (can I blame pregnancy?!). I always of course feel really guilty after my nap.

I wish I had more ideas – of what to cook for dinner or how to make dinner less of a battle. The former I note won’t necessarily help the latter.

I wish I had more confidence – that im not going to flail when this baby arrives, yes I’ve done it before but it was almost eight years ago and I was never a natural with the baby stage.

I’m pretty confident I’m not the only parent who has these kinds of thoughts sometimes and I reckon it’s all pretty normal – albeit I wish I was that supermum! Plus, there are of course things to counter balance all of this a little – those potentially less frequent occasions, but nonetheless occasions where I am patient, occasional weeks where I plan and cook each family members favourite meal and of course those moments where I am with our whole family and feel overwhelmingly happy or I look at my little girl, feel utterly proud and realise I can’t have done a bad job so far …

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(Apologies for two photo’s but Ellie and I couldn’t agree – I like the first and Ellie wanted to post the second so we posted both!)

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A picture of pregnancy

I couldn’t resist sharing the photo below which was the result of asking my husband to take a picture of me the other day. It’s clear which part of me wasn’t priority!

I should add that I don’t often ask him to take pictures of me, but I needed it for the blog. As it turns out maybe I should ask him more often, if nothing else but because it made me giggle…

On the plus side it’s a great picture to remember what my pregnancy bump was like at 27 weeks. As it turns out this week it’s looking quite big according to the man in the library who asked if I was eating books … the numerous people at school who look shocked when I explain I’m not due until January … and the lady who wanted my car parking space in Sainsbury’s today. Ah well – I do love my bump.

Getting ready for our baby

Despite the varying views people have (and often quite forcefully share) on when you should get things ready for your new arrival – not too early so as to tempt fate, not too late so as to feel stressed etc – practical issues like time, cost and energy levels mean that we have been gradually getting things sorted for a while.

The room is decorated, the cot is up, bedding ready and, courtesy of some wonderful family and friends and a few careful purchases, much of my ‘must have’ shopping list items are here.

 

Having said that, getting those key items is of course just one of the many things that need to be done before our little one arrives so, as I am now only a few days away from my third trimester, I’ve decided it’s time to write a list of what’s left to do. Obviously I couldn’t resist sharing, not least because I’m sure somebody will spot something crucial I’ve forgotten…

  1. Stock up on disposable baby items i.e. nappies, wipes, nappy sacks and so on. I think I’m making good progress (see above picture) although I suspect the stock pile won’t last long! 
  2. Decorate the room for Ellie and the baby (they’re sharing) – done with a little help from some friends. Whoop whoop!
  3. Get ready for the birth – not even started but hey there is plenty of time for this right?! Includes: Read up on hypnobirthing (fascinated to know more!) / Talk to Richard about it and write birth plan / Buy a birthing ball (and blow it up) / Get hospital bag ready (do not forget arnica and toilet wipes)
  4. Spring clean the house – all of it. Absolutely no inclination to do this so far but I am almost sure my nesting instinct will kick in.
  5. Sort Christmas presents and any birthdays that are before the end of January. Making progress but lots more to do
  6. Think of a name for our baby boy – really starting to freak out because we just can’t think of one we are both sure about. Our current reference to Chew Bacca simply won’t do.
  7. Work out how the pushchair/car seat work – have absolutely no recollection of how this works and am utterly clueluess. I’m sure it will all come back to me and there’s enough time. Deadline of end November (just in case of an early arrival).
  8. Make bunting I decided to make ages ago for above the babies cot – insignificant progress. I doooo really want to do this….must find time!

    So there you have it. Now come on…what have I missed? All advice welcome!

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    A baby shower and a big reveal!

    So when my friend suggested that perhaps I and another friend who is also pregnant had a joint baby shower I wasn’t at all sure what to expect. I’d obviously heard of baby showers but it wasn’t something I’d ever been to or thought about. Always up for a giggle though we both quickly agreed and last weekend the big event finally took place.

    It was really good fun and I thought I’d share a little bit about what we did in case anyone else out there fancies having one too! Here’s a quick run through of what we got up to:

    To start with the room was decorated by our host, and we had party snacks laid out for everyone. We also played some fun games including matching the baby pictures to the party guests, ‘melt your cup of ice to get the mini baby out (first one to shout ‘my waters have broken’ wins)’ and my personal favourite ‘guess the chocolate bar’ nappy game (of which I had to include a picture):

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    There is something quite hilarious about watching a group of mums all sniffing a brown nappy!

    Then (because we both knew and were happy to share) we had fantastic baby reveal cakes made by the wonderful Cakes by Sarah. (You can also find Sarah on FaceBook here). And so here’s the big reveal with before and after shots…..

    reveal cake before and after

    Yes the news is I’m having a boy! (There’s alot I could say about that, but that’s another post!)

    I also felt slightly tearful when later in the evening I was asked to shut my eyes and presented with a beautiful gift from everyone. The party was never about that and I really didn’t expect it.

    me and my pressie

    It’s fair to say that everyone had a great evening and I would definitely recommend it. But the biggest thing that I took away from this whole experience is simply this – how lucky I am to have such wonderful friends. Now I’m really hoping they’ll all be around when the baby arrives and is crying……..

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