Tag Archives: parenting

Building our family – two and a half years on

I’m the sort of person that is forever writing things down – sometimes they become posts and sometimes they just get forgotten. What I really like though is when I re-discover them and they get me thinking! Take this for example, which I re-discovered yesterday:

“In many ways I’m starting again. I know myself better now than ever before and of course I’ve got my amazing little girl, but there is no getting away from the fact that at 36 years old I am beginning again – settling down with Richard and his son in our new home, as a new family.

I try not to think too much about my decisions in the past and especially not to look back and regret. Although some people say regrets mean you’ve lived – I think regrets feel a bit like I wish I hadn’t done something. I don’t regret being married. I don’t regret having my daughter. I don’t regret calling off an engagement. I’m sad that all those things didn’t turn out how I hoped – but right now I feel overwhelmingly hopeful for the future.

I’m hopeful for our family, hopeful for our happiness and hopeful that Richard and I will grow old together. I love the balance that we bring to each other and I already love the home and family we are building together.”

Unbelievably it has been two and half years since I wrote that and since we moved in together. As you’d expect, reading that again sparked the obvious question – how do I feel now? Well time has truly flown – we got used to each other, got married and firmly settled as a family of four. It’s definitely too early to comment on the ‘growing old together’ bit! That said there is no doubt that we are incredibly happy as a family.

The truth though for anyone out there considering doing something similar is that it hasn’t always been easy – we were (and are) both very independent people, the children were (and are) both very different children and these differences made (and make!) life a real challenge.

I recall a moment in the first few weeks after we’d moved in together when I literally told Richard we had made a mistake and I meant it.

Yet here we are two and a half years later. Of course we still don’t agree on everything (who does?) but with a little patience, a lot of respect for each other and a bucket load of love we’ve come this far.

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It’s a mummy hibernation

It’s fair to say that this post is well and truly overdue. I try to post at least every other week and I have just lately – well – dismally failed! The obvious excuse is to say that life has got in the way. But I think that would be a bit of a cop out, after all life is always busy. It doesn’t normally stop me.

So I’ve been trying to work it out. Is it because nothing worthy of writing a post has happened? Nope there’s been plenty that I could post about: birthday party planning, crisis about the parties Ellie’s missing because her Dad and I are separated, parents evening and so on!

Have I got writers block? Nope, I haven’t even tried to sit and write.

Ive also realised that it isn’t just blogging that I haven’t done, lots of things seem to be behind or not done at all – regular time on my forever living business, organising weekends and events, cooking different meals and so on.

So finally, after much contemplation I’ve decided what it is…it’s me…..I’m having what I will herein term a mummy hibernation.

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It goes like this:

1. Doing what’s required (but not really any more)
2. Taking every opportunity to put my pjs on and collapse on the sofa or bed
3. Eating far too much chocolate (and oranges)

Now historically I would have given myself a hard time about not getting on with things and achieving what needs to be achieved but here’s the thing…….my mini hibernation has allowed me to do some very important things:

  • Spend time relaxing with my family
  • Notice the fact that spring is starting and enjoy that feeling of anticipation
  • Snuggle with Ellie … a lot

  • These are great things and it isn’t like I’m not functioning – I’m still delivering at work, feeding the family, cleaning the house (sometimes) and so on. I’m just working a little below my normal 100% and I think that’s ok. I’m going to give myself a break and the thing is, hibernation is temporary, so I know I’ll be back.

    In the meantime – forgive me for my gap in posting, but I promise I will post again soon.

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    Grumpy – me not the children

    Today I feel grumpy and whilst I’m sure I’m not supposed to say so, sometimes sharing really does help…so, I’m sharing. Forgive me for being quite so self indulgent but that said, I simply refuse to believe that I’m the only one who feels like this some times?

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    Why am I so grumpy you ask – it’s summer, it’s sunny, it’s the school holidays, I have a wonderful family and my vegetable patch is looking good. Well here’s the thing – I’m not a super mum and just occasionally I do feel a bit stressed and I do feel grumpy. This is one of those occasions and here’s why. (Please note the only things the following list have in common is a) they relate to me and b) they are things which I feel grumpy about.)

    This week is the first week of our school holidays, but for me it’s a normal working week. That alone is enough to make me feel a little grumpy, but it’s compounded by the fact that it’s a week of early starts dropping Ellie to my amazing family who are helping out and long days trying to get on top of work. Yes i am like a child, if i’m tired I’m generally grumpy. I’m not proud of it, but there it is.

    The traffic generally at the moment is horrendous and I really mean horrendous. This means that my long enough days are now even longer queuing in traffic. For anyone in the Birmingham area the closure of the A38 tunnels is quite simply disastrous for traffic and it’s set to continue for the entire summer holidays – what a joy. This makes me grumpy.

    This post isn’t the one I was supposed to be publishing next – my big plan had been to launch my new blog site … sadly I can’t do that because I haven’t had time to finish it. That’s made me grumpy. (It’s on it’s way folks…just as soon as I have the time!)

    I was supposed to finish my next post by now too – all about the fact that Ellie has now finished her reception year at school and that’s got me quite emotional. It’s only half done and I’m grumpy about that. (Yes I managed to write this one, but somehow my fingers just wrote this one without the rest of me!)

    I love the summer but quite frankly I am fed up of the fly that is buzzing around my head right now. Yes right now. It must be the brother, cousin or other relative of the one that flew around my head whilst I was trying to relax last night, and a similar relative to the one that was in the kitchen when I was cooking the other day. It sounds like a small thing but it’s incessant and my love for all of gods creatures is not stretching to the flies in my house – they are making me grumpy.

    Tonight I heard myself constantly hurrying Ellie to bed because ‘she was tired’. The thing is, she is tired, but I know deep down that the hurrying is really because I’m tired. I haven’t seen her all day but my sole input to my 5 year old daughter today has turned out to be rushing her through the bedtime routine to get her into bed as soon as possible. This is not from the good parenting guide and definitely makes me grumpy.

    We’ve been in our new house since January but have not, as yet, done any of the real work we wanted to do in terms of DIY and decorating. Life generally has got in the way and normally it wouldn’t bother me but this week – I’m grumpy about that too.

    ooo that feels better – getting it all off my chest. No idea if I should publish this really as I fear I’m in danger of sounding like a right miserable cow, but you know what – this is real life and I’ve always promised to blog with Honesty and Humour. This is definitely more of the honesty than the humour but, we can’t always have everything now can we. That reminds me – I really shouldn’t complain too much – I’m off work soon, my partner has been uber amazing and tonight my little girl gave me a big hug at bedtime and whispered how much she loved me in my ear.

    So there it is – please can someone reassure me that I’m not the only grumpy mum around?!