Tag Archives: working-mum

Grumpy – me not the children

Today I feel grumpy and whilst I’m sure I’m not supposed to say so, sometimes sharing really does help…so, I’m sharing. Forgive me for being quite so self indulgent but that said, I simply refuse to believe that I’m the only one who feels like this some times?

grumpyblog

Why am I so grumpy you ask – it’s summer, it’s sunny, it’s the school holidays, I have a wonderful family and my vegetable patch is looking good. Well here’s the thing – I’m not a super mum and just occasionally I do feel a bit stressed and I do feel grumpy. This is one of those occasions and here’s why. (Please note the only things the following list have in common is a) they relate to me and b) they are things which I feel grumpy about.)

This week is the first week of our school holidays, but for me it’s a normal working week. That alone is enough to make me feel a little grumpy, but it’s compounded by the fact that it’s a week of early starts dropping Ellie to my amazing family who are helping out and long days trying to get on top of work. Yes i am like a child, if i’m tired I’m generally grumpy. I’m not proud of it, but there it is.

The traffic generally at the moment is horrendous and I really mean horrendous. This means that my long enough days are now even longer queuing in traffic. For anyone in the Birmingham area the closure of the A38 tunnels is quite simply disastrous for traffic and it’s set to continue for the entire summer holidays – what a joy. This makes me grumpy.

This post isn’t the one I was supposed to be publishing next – my big plan had been to launch my new blog site … sadly I can’t do that because I haven’t had time to finish it. That’s made me grumpy. (It’s on it’s way folks…just as soon as I have the time!)

I was supposed to finish my next post by now too – all about the fact that Ellie has now finished her reception year at school and that’s got me quite emotional. It’s only half done and I’m grumpy about that. (Yes I managed to write this one, but somehow my fingers just wrote this one without the rest of me!)

I love the summer but quite frankly I am fed up of the fly that is buzzing around my head right now. Yes right now. It must be the brother, cousin or other relative of the one that flew around my head whilst I was trying to relax last night, and a similar relative to the one that was in the kitchen when I was cooking the other day. It sounds like a small thing but it’s incessant and my love for all of gods creatures is not stretching to the flies in my house – they are making me grumpy.

Tonight I heard myself constantly hurrying Ellie to bed because ‘she was tired’. The thing is, she is tired, but I know deep down that the hurrying is really because I’m tired. I haven’t seen her all day but my sole input to my 5 year old daughter today has turned out to be rushing her through the bedtime routine to get her into bed as soon as possible. This is not from the good parenting guide and definitely makes me grumpy.

We’ve been in our new house since January but have not, as yet, done any of the real work we wanted to do in terms of DIY and decorating. Life generally has got in the way and normally it wouldn’t bother me but this week – I’m grumpy about that too.

ooo that feels better – getting it all off my chest. No idea if I should publish this really as I fear I’m in danger of sounding like a right miserable cow, but you know what – this is real life and I’ve always promised to blog with Honesty and Humour. This is definitely more of the honesty than the humour but, we can’t always have everything now can we. That reminds me – I really shouldn’t complain too much – I’m off work soon, my partner has been uber amazing and tonight my little girl gave me a big hug at bedtime and whispered how much she loved me in my ear.

So there it is – please can someone reassure me that I’m not the only grumpy mum around?!

Starting school….a working mum’s crisis?!

So here it is, my first ever blog and to be honest, the topic chose itself….Ellie has started school and I am already wondering quite how I’m going to balance everything.
I remember the moment just few days ago when I’d finally finished sticking and ironing on name labels for Ellie’s school clothes, shoes and bags – I felt pure relief that the final thing on the preparing for schoolchecklist was done. In the end this final task was actually fairly simple….ok so the first label is more melted on than ironed on, but it’s hardly noticeable. It does of course remain to be seen if the labels stay on and if they prevent things getting lost. I’ve heard several times now that Ellie is unlikely to still have all of her things by the end of the first term and quite likely to have other children’s things. This mysterious phenomenon apparently includes bags and shoes – oh joy!

Anyway, there’s no denying the fact that once the relief passed I felt a mixture of excitement about Ellie starting school, shock that she really is school age now and if I’m honest…. terror at the growing feeling that balancing working full time with being mum to a schoolchild is going to be harder (yes harder!) than it’s been as mum to a pre-schooler. 

The tone was set when I went for the new parents welcome evening at the school and it quickly became clear that I needed to find a way, alongside working, to fit a home visit from the teacher and TA, visit to school with Ellie to try on uniform and three separate short school settling in sessions into a three week period at the start of the summer. All of this came with well under three weeks’ notice. (It’s worth remembering that it’s 9.00 to 3.15….you can’t just pop in on your way to or from work.)

Next, I had a conversation with a teacher who explained they do occasionally do things ‘off the cuff’ so parents might get late notice of things going on. I did of course politely point out that there’s every chance I won’t be able to join ‘the off the cuff brigade’. I was reassured that it was fine but somehow I didn’t feel any better.

Then there is sharing morning, the weekly event where parents go into the classroom at the start of the school day and spend time looking at their child’s work. Just to clarify – this happens once a week, every week. I’ve already roped the childminder and grandparents into this, but even so – I can’t help but feel that I’m not there for my little girl because I won’t be able to go every week or even every other week.

So here’s the thing, I do want to be involved with Ellie’s education, I do want to get to know the school, I’m lucky in that my work are really flexible, but there is no doubt that being a working mum to a school child feels like a whole new era of challenge.

As I finish this first blog entry it’s the end of Ellie’s third day at school (well half day, since she’s mornings only for the first month) and she’s fortunately settling in just fine. With a pinch of luck, a great child minder and the necessity of getting on with it, we seem to have come fairly unscathed through the first few days. I was able to take and collect Ellie on her first day but not since and when you hear other mum’s talking about collecting their child daily it is difficult not to feel a twinge of guilt. My saving grace is as always my gorgeous daughter who seems to think that the both the childminder and school are fun! Maybe, just maybe Ellie’s not nearly as bothered about my not being at the school gate as I am.

So there it is…my first ever attempt at a blog. I’d love to know what you think so please send me a message either on here or via twitter: www.twitter.com/sharonmsmyth